One of the most overlooked — and potentially explosive — topics in divorce is also one of the most personal: when is it okay to start dating again? In this episode, Karen McNenny, divorce consultant and co-parent specialist, makes the case that the timing of that question matters less than whether both partners have actually agreed on the answer.
Karen walks through real-life examples from her work with divorcing couples, illustrating how the element of surprise — a discovered laptop conversation, an unexpected guest at a lunch that “meant nothing,” a high school reunion that quietly rewrote the rules — can undo months of cooperative progress and poison settlement negotiations. When one partner feels blindsided or embarrassed, even a fair-minded co-parent can suddenly dig in on the fishing boat.
The takeaway isn’t a rulebook; it’s a framework. Think of it as red light, green light — identifying together what milestone triggers the green light on dating, and what boundaries (around discretion, the kids, the extended community) apply in the meantime. Karen also offers a gentle but honest reminder that the newly-single version of you, however hopeful and energized, may not yet be ready for a serious new relationship — and that giving one chapter a proper ending is the best gift you can give the next one.
If you’re enjoying the podcast, be sure to grab Karen’s new book: The Good Divorce: How to
End Your Marriage Without Ending Your Family. Pre-selling on Amazon, Bookshop.org, Books-A-Million, and Barnes and Noble.
